Lost and Found
by songspinner
Summary: epilogue to "No Man Left Behind"


Disclaimer: The characters and the show of "Mutant X" belong to Tribune Entertainment, Marvel Studios, and Fireworks Entertainment. I don't own the team, and no copyright infringement or profit is intended with this story. 

Author's Notes: For some reason, this popped into my head about ten minutes after "No Man Left Behind" ended. It started out as a Brennan story and ended up with some imagined insight into Emma's head. 

Lost and Found

By Laura Reeve

++++++

Brennan wasn't asleep yet. Staring at the ceiling wasn't getting him anywhere, not with a million thoughts and images running through his mind. He had been awake for more than 24 hours. The adrenaline rush he'd had trying to save them all in that mid-air firefight had worn off physically, but not emotionally. He doubted anyone else was any different, so somehow he wasn't surprised when he heard a soft footfall at his doorway.

"Bren? Can I come in?" Emma's voice sounded tentative.

"Yeah, sure." Brennan said, flipping on his bedside lamp.

"Hey." She came in quietly, closing the door behind her. 

"Cute." He looked over with a grin, taking in her flannel pajamas covered in pictures of cats tangled in balls of yarn. "But shouldn't Shalimar be wearing those?"

"Who do you think gave them to me?" Emma countered with her own smile.

"That figures." Sitting up, Brennan patted the bed next to him, and she sat down. "Okay, I know why I'm awake. What's your excuse?"

She fidgeted with the blanket and leaned back against his bolster pillow so that their shoulders were just touching. "Same as yours, I think."

His brow furrowed in confusion for a moment before he understood. "Oh, man, I'm sorry, am I keeping you awake?"

"No, not really. Too many time zones, and I pushed my limits a little today, dropping all my emotional walls to watch Jesse's back. I guess I'm still a bit more sensitive than usual."

"Well, I'm still sorry." Brennan rubbed her shoulder as he apologized. 

"No, that's okay. I wanted to make sure everything was all right. You scared us, you know."

"I know. I'm not sorry I went after Morrison, though."

Emma reached for his hand and squeezed it, and then looked over at the photograph she'd just noticed on the bedside table. "Bren, who's that? I don't remembers seeing that before."

Brennan shifted, bringing his knees up and resting his chin on them. "You haven't. Adam went with me to the Vietnam Veterans' Memorial before we came back. And while we were at the Pentagon, he apparently arranged to get a picture of my dad for me. I remember seeing this military portrait once before, the one picture she hid from my step-dad. He burned or threw out anything else of his, a way to control us, I guess. I never knew where it went and I haven't seen what he looked like in so long"

Her eyes went wide. "I'm glad. Did going help?" 

"I needed to go, I guess. It helpedsome things in my head. And my heart."

"But?" Emma asked, seeing something still unsaid in his face.

"ButEm, I didn't know I could feel that much for someone I never even met. I wonder what he was like, how much of my personality is like his. Probably the stubborn part, anyway. It's like there was this hole in my life that my step-dad just went around, and nobody ever filled it."

"And now?" she inquired, moving her thumb over the back of his larger hand.

"Now?" Brennan took a deep breath. "I don't know. It's still there. I suppose it's not asas it was before. And I have family now. If a rather peculiar one." He added with a little smile that showed he wasn't trying to insult her. 

"To put it mildly." Emma retorted.

"I mean, Adam" he broke off in confusion.

"He's not your father, Bren. But he fills part of that hole, doesn't he? He does it for me, too. For Jesse, for Shal. We need that unconditional acceptance from someone to survive all this. We get it from him, and we get it from each other. He found us and we found each other, so we get back a little of what we lost when we werelost."

Brennan reached over with his free hand and tucked an errant lock of red hair behind her ear. "How'd you get so smart, anyway?" he queried half-seriously, a look of affection on his face.

"Experience." His younger teammate added with a smug, little smile. 

He whapped her gently on the shoulder and then drew her into a hug. "You listened to me a lot, twice. Thank you. Think we're both ready to sleep?" He chuckled at her yawn and then mirrored it helplessly. "Ah, the power of suggestion. I thought that was your power, not mine."

"Oh, thanks." She pulled back from his arms a little. 

"Emma? Did I say something wrong?"

"No, Ijust some weird thoughts." She said quickly, and changed the subject. "Are you gonna be okay, Brennan?"

"Yeah, thanks. I think I will be. Sleep will undoubtedly help. But Shal's still gonna kick my butt from Sanctuary to China in the next practice session to get back at me for scaring her, I think."

"Oh, I'm sure. Just don't even think about trying to hide behind me." Emma kissed his cheek and slid from the bed, switching off the light. "Night."

"Good night, Emma. Thank you." Brennan lay back down on the bed, pulling the blanket up over his shoulders. 

++++++++++++

Emma sank into the cushions of the padded bench near the reflecting pool. Starlight and moonlight drifted down from the skylight as hugged her knees, rocking slightly. _Unconditional acceptance_, she'd said to Brennan. Would they give her that if they knew? If they knew that her powers were growing almost as rapidly as Gabriel's had. The others all had visible powers. She knew people were scared of the invisible, of the hidden. That's why Adam had built Sanctuary and the safehouses. 

Sometimes if she went with Jesse, she could feel the fear from the new mutant refugees. One time, Adam had assigned the to go rescue and pick up a girl, a feral. The thirteen year old had stopped talking to anyone for weeks. She'd withdrawn after a group of kids suspected something was odd about her and had beaten her up. Even without words, the girl's mind had projected such images of fear, panic, pain, and suffering, that Emma had needed to go wait in the Helix. At the time, Jesse had just thought she had been upset. Mostly it had reminded her of the fear in people's eyes when they had suspected things about her, before she'd met Adam.

Back on their mission, after she had broadcast the images and feelings that sent seasoned mercenaries running away in terror, she'd looked down at Jesse's shivering body and panicked face. And as Emma had pulled her partner to his feet, she saw the fear in his eyes at the depth of her power. He probably hadn't meant to show it, but she was still too open. She'd felt it. And she didn't want to feel it ever again. Erasing Jesse's memory had been a panic reaction, she knew that. But had it be the right thing to do, or had she been incredibly selfish?

__

Brennan and Shalimar had experienced mind-control too recently. If I tell them about these things I can do, she thought_, how much fear will they feel? And to know that I can erase memory? Brennan's trusting me enough to open up andhow could they trust me again? How could Jesse trust me if I told him what I did, or put back the memory? What if he hated me? I was alone too long. I can't be again, I just can't_

As Emma drifted off to sleep, exhaustion finally overpowering panic, one final thought surfaced from her mind. _I know exactly how Brennan feels. I don't want to be lost again. Not now that I know what it feels like to be found._


End file.
